In the Light of the Moon
by Willow Pierce
Summary: While with the fellowship, Pippin, Boromir, and Aragon begin to notice a change in the young Elven Prince. Legolas has been isolating himself, hiding a dark secret he chooses to deal with alone. But with the next stop being Rivindale, how long can he keep his secret from Lord Elrond and...Thranduil? (Warning: Self-harm; Self Hate)
1. Amin Hiraetha (I'm Sorry)

Everybody lies, it's a simple fact of life. Dwarves, Elves, Hobbits, Humans, Wizards, and yes, even Orcs. There seems to be a point in people's lives where they need to push their personal feelings down and lock them in a box. Sometimes there is a key that can be uncovered. In other cases, like the one of a young Elven Prince, there is no key that seems to fit the lock.

Legolas son of Thranduil sat at the edge of a mountain looking at the valley below him. He had his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms hugging them tightly. The young prince sighed and closed his eyes. His ears filled with the voices of the trees. They spoke of stories and encouraging tales, however their efforts were sadly in vain.

Finally, after some time, Legolas opened his eyes and looked to the stars. His eyes were glazed over with centuries of unshed tears that were never allowed to fall, for the young Elven prince thought of crying as sign of weakness.

Suddenly the prince shook himself. Letting his legs dangle off of the cliff.

After some time, he unsheathed one of his twin blades and stared at the glistening silver in the light of the moon.

* * *

_**Pippin's POV:**_

I awoke to the smell of Sam's wonderful cooking. My mouth immediately began to water, "Oi Sam! What's for breakfast?" I asked as I sat up and stretched my arms.

Sam looked up at me and smiled, "Mr. Legolas caught two rabbits this morning and I found some sage so I'm making a stew of some sorts."

"That sounds amazing." I looked around and frowned when I saw Gandalf, Gimli, and Aragon having a conversation that looked serious. However, I immediately perked up when I saw Merry sparring with Boromir. Suddenly I realized something, "Hey Sam."

"Yeah?" He looked up at me.

"Where is Legolas?"

He seemed confused for a moment. As he took a second to scan the campground he began to mutter, "I don't know, I could've sworn he was here just a moment ago." His brow furrowed, I could tell he was deep in thought.

I stood and patted him on the back, "Don't worry Sam, I'm sure he's fine. I'm going to go ask Gandalf." He nodded and returned to his cooking.

I walked up behind the wizard and tapped on his elbow, his head whipped around about as quick as lightning. "We'll if it isn't Peregrin Took, what is it my lad?"

Gimli and Aragon paused for a moment before quickly returning to their debate, "I was wondering if you have seen Legolas. I can't seem to find him."

"I don't know, but Legolas is a very capable Elf. I'm sure he's fine." Taking his words as a type of dismissal I turned to walk away when I could've sworn I heard Gimli mumble something about good for nothing elves.

I walked until I came to the edge of the mountain. I sat and allowed myself to bask in the sunlight. Today was an especially nice day, which is saying a lot considering the weather in the mountains is usually very unpredictable. I placed my hands on the ground behind me, but immediately recoiled when I felt something wet. I looked down at my hand expecting to see mud. The blood rushed from my face, mud wasn't supposed to be deep red, was it?

Immediately I did the one thing I could think of, "Aragon, Gandalf! Come here!"

In less than the blink of an eye they were both at my side. "For Ened Kemen's* sake Peregrin what is the matter."

I stammered over my words, "I f...found...blood. Fresh blood."

Aragon immediately bent to the ground, and examined the area. "Someone was sitting here when they started to bleed." He walked a few paces towards the forest, pointing to disturbed grass he drew his knife, "they walked this way."

The bushed rustled as Aragon, Gandalf, and I took a step back. Aragon leapt at the pale figure and tackled him to the ground, "Legolas?"

* * *

_**Legolas's POV:**_

The walk in the forest I had taken to clear my head had helped rid my mind of my aching headache. However, it immediately returned when I felt my body being forced to the earth. My eyes locked with my attacker as they spoke my name, "Legolas?"

"Estel, can I ask why you tackled me Mellon-nin*?" I asked confused.

Aragon's eyes were scanning my body, he was looking for something. "Legolas are you injured anywhere."

"No. Not that I am aware of. What's going on Estel." His eyes seemed to speak to me, you should know better then to lie to a healer my friend.

Slowly he backed off, and helped me rise, "Pippin found blood, and when we couldn't find you well..."

I brushed the dirt from my tights and pulled a few blades of grass from my braids, "I assure you all that I am fine, however I apologize for leaving camp. I needed to spend some time with the trees and I forgot to let someone know where I was headed to." I bowed apologetically at Pippin and Gandalf who smiled at me.

"Tis nothing Legolas," the little hobbit grabbed my arm and begun to pull me in the direction of camp, "Come Sam has made a lovely breakfast." I winced at the contact and prayed no one noticed.

It did smell lovely, but the pain emanating from my arm was so overwhelming. The thought of any food, let alone sight or smell, was enough to make me feel sick.

I spent breakfast talking with Boromir, he began asking me about Mirkwood and my father. "Do you miss home Legolas?" He asked.

I wanted to tell the truth. I wanted to scream it to anyone who would listen. Instead I sighed and shook my head, "I miss the trees, however I am fine."

His hand clamped down on my shoulder, "Do not worry my friend, we will be at Rivendale shortly." I shivered, If I could barely hide my pain from Estel there was no way I could hide it from Lord Elrond.

Suddenly Merry piped up, "Legolas are you feeling alright. You don't look well."

Suddenly all eyes were on me, I began to squirm (which is a very unelvish thing to do), "I'm fine."

The sudden shift of attention set Gimli off, "Bah! Elves always look ill. They don't put enough meat on their bones." He grasped his stomach for emphasis. "If you ask me this Elf should go back to the forest he crawled out of if he misses it so much. He doesn't seem fit enough to be on this quest anyway."

I spoke in a whisper, "Auta mikula Orku!" (Go kiss an Orc)

Immediately he rose to his defense. His face turned a bright red color, "What! To scared to speak to my face in words I can understand?"

I stood and walked quickly away from the fuming dwarf, leaving everyone in shock. Especially Gandalf and Estel, they would be sure to tell Lord Elrond of my outburst. Suddenly my arm began to itch, I needed to be alone.


	2. Mani Marte? (What Happened)

_**Legolas's POV:**_

I felt like Aragon was following close behind me. Sensing his presence I turned my head to confirm my suspicions which turned out to be true. However, I was shocked to see him closer then I had expected. It was at that moment I realized that I could still hear Gimli yelling from camp which meant I wasn't as far as I thought I was. I wasn't far away enough for it to be safe.

Desperate to lose the persistant Ranger I leapt from the ground and pulled myself into a tall Pine, hoping to escape his grasp.

However, this was not the case. I sighed and thought about how long I had known Estel, quietly I scolded myself for thinking he would just give up and leave me alone.

The faster I climbed the tree the more the air stung my eyes, all my attention was devoted on not looking weak. I began completely focused with trying to wipe the water streaks away. My eyes looked down to find Aragon just below me. I stopped climbing to try to prepare my walls to the best of my ability before he reached me.

We were near the top of one of the taller trees. However, we were not close enough to the top where the branches become feeble and can't hold your weight. Being an Elf from Mirkwood I knew how to place my weight so I would not fall. Aragon knew Rivendale branches, which are mostly tall sturdy oaks that can hold the weight of a man Gimli's size. No matter what inner struggles I was going through, mental or physical, I was not going to place my friend, heir of Gondor, in danger.

As I waited and savored the very few moments before I would become bombarded with questions, I allowed my eyes to travel atop the large range of the many shorter trees. It made me think of my home, in Mirkwood if you climb the tallest tree you can see the entire kingdom.

I couldn't help but sigh, here I sat a complete wreck, fighting the urge to bury my head in my hands. This talk was the last thing I had wanted, especially not now, and ESPECIALLY not with Aragon, my closest friend.

Finally, Aragon reached me, he placed himself on the same branch relatively close to me. Closer than I would have liked. Being close to him made me feel very uncomfortable. I leaned my head away from him, against the trunk of the Pine. The bark felt like a pillow and immediately began reassuring me that I would be ok. Aragon's voice brought me out of my trance, "Legolas, mellon-nin, what ails you?" (my friend)

"Estel please, tis just stress. Do not worry about me for I am fine." My eyes closed as my body became stiff against the tree. He seemed to notice right away.

"Legolas, please. What is on your mind. It is very much unlike you to snap at someone in such a way." He placed a hand on my shoulder, I had to force myself not to shudder at the touch.

I did not speak, for I did not want to alert on to my...situation...too much. I sighed and looked at the ground I couldn't help, but wonder if a fall like this would kill me. I began shaking my head, "Estel, amin..." (Estel, I...) I buried my face into my familiar callused hands unable to finish the sentence.

**_Aragon's POV:_**

To see my friend in a state such as this was something I didn't know how to deal with. Legolas was always so strong, I didn't know what was going on with him. I wrapped my arms around his light frame and rocked him, whispering things in elvish as questions swam around in my head.

What happened to him to get him to this state? So broken and empty. It seemed almost as if he had no life in him.

As I was holding him as I allowed my eyes to scan over his supple frame, he was thin. Oh so very thin, I tried to trace my memory to the last time he ate a full meal, I couldn't remember one. His face and the tips of his ears were slightly flushed so I knew he had been drinking, something he rarely did. Finally my eyes rested on a small streak of red on his pale blue tunic.

My eyes grew wide as I realized I had one of my thousands of questions were answered.

It was Legolas's blood that Pippin had found...

**_-line break-_**

_"Shame is what you bring upon your people Legolas Thrandulian."_

_My eyes traveled around the surrounding area, where was I and what was going on?_

_"Penneth, how could you betray me like this."_

_"Ada?" Legolas screamed into the forest. Immediately knowing the voice had to be his father. However, he did not know the direction from which it came. _

_"Ahh my little greenleaf. I do not know the words to express my grief. I fear... I fear as though I am beginning to fade."_

_Suddenly a grey and feeble Thranduil staggered -gracefully- out of the thicket and into the clearing. _

_Legolas stumbled towards his father unable to find the words to express how broken he was, "Ada no. You can't fade I need you!" _

_"Ahh Penneth. Why. You did this to me, your people. Have you no remorse." King Thranduil reached up towards his son and stroked his cheek. "I worry about you, my little Greenleaf. Your Neneth died so you could live." Suddenly his eyes became hateful, "I was never able to forgive you for that, and even in death Penneth, I never will. It is YOU who leave your people leaderless Legolas Thrandulian, for Sauron himself would make a finer king for the Mirkwood people than you."_

_The Elvin prince watched as his father, the only family he had, fall to the forest floor in a heap of nothingness. _

_**-line break-**_

A figure watched as the whimpering pale Princeling thrashed in his sleep. He was huddled in Aragon's arms. The ranger was rocking Legolas's body back an forth. A worried look was spread across his face.

The dark figure smirked and spoke silently to the trees which were scolding him for his horrible actions, "we'll this is only the beginning." Unbenouced to the nine members of the fellowship, one more was added to the group from the shadows of the forest. One unwelcome new member bringing the total to ten, and everyone knows, ten is a ghastly number.


	3. Nîn Maethor (My Warrior)

_**Author's Note: Hi people! Just wanted to give a few background details in this chapter. :3 This chapter is named Nîn Maethor which means My warrior in elvish. When you read this chapter you will see why it's named that. Just a few quick tips while you're reading this:**  
_

_**Gandalf the Grey~ reffered to as The Wizard**_

_**Aragon~ Referred to as Dunedan and The Ranger**_

_**Boromir~ **__****__**Referred to as The Human**_

_****__****__**Pippin~ **__****__**Referred to as The Innocent One**_

_****__****__****__****__**Merry~ **__****__**Referred to as The one with blonde curly hair**_

* * *

_**Legolas's POV:**_

Falling asleep in the tree was one thing, but waking up on the ground wrapped in a blanket confused me even more. I tried to sit up, but a pair of strong hands pushed me gingerly back to the ground, "Calm Legolas, you have to rest now." I tried to squirm free not recognizing the voice, my eyes were open but I did not see. "Shhhh Mellon-nin you are among friends. Do not worry it is me Estel." I relaxed at the name and closed my eyes in shame. His hand moved to my forehead, "Why did you not tell me Legolas. Why didn't you...?"

"There is nothing to tell Estel." I shivered, even from the darkness I could feel his eyes glaring at me.

"Rest now, we shall converse later." Subconsciously I reached out and grabbed his hand, after a few tense moments I relaxed into a deep sleep.

_**Normal POV:**_

The Dunedan did not believe he would ever forget the wild, trapped look in his friends eyes. The azure eyes spoke a story no living being would ever hear spoken from the fallen companion's lips. They spoke of a warrior that didn't remember his friends. They spoke of a warrior who only saw and experienced fear and darkness. He bore wounds, but these were wounds of the fight against himself.

Everyone had asked about the fallen warrior that The Ranger had carried on his back. They were worried, for he looked so weak and thin. His blonde hair was a faded yellow and his skin looked as white as the snow that could be seen on the top of the Misty Mountains. The Wizard had pulled The Ranger aside and asked him many questions in a hushed manner. For he feared of the trees spreading the tale of their fallen friend across Middle Earth.

As he was doing so, the four halflings hovered over The Warrior. The Human had laid The Warrior's head in his lap and became preoccupied with pulling the twigs out of his hair. He wanted him to be ok when he woke up, and untidy, unkept hair would surely ruin his spirit and mood.

The dwarf had made his way over slowly, he half expected The Warrior to jump up and scare him. However, the delicate rise and fall of his chest made him think otherwise. His eyes filled with sorrow as he reached for the delicate hand, that was abandoned by The Ranger. It was draped over The Warriors chest an it seemed to beckon comfort from another. The dwarf sat and closed his eyes, his mind focused on the faint heartbeat that passed through the pale fingers.

Finally The Ranger and wizard returned to the group with stern faces. The innocent brown haired halfling spoke first, unintentionally screaming at the elders, concern dripping from his words. The curly blonde haired halfling embrace him, telling him to calm down so The Ranger could speak.

However, The Ranger only motioned for The Human and the dwarf to follow. As the dwarf stood he made sure to place the hand he was holding back where he found it. The Human, finally satisfied with The Warriors tangle free hair, gave up his position to the ring bearer. Who was quietly whispering a story into The Warrior's ear. The Wizard stayed with the four protesting halflings, and warrior. He sat on the ground with the five of them to keep the peace and ensure the trio's privacy.

The Ranger walked about forty feet away from the others. He stared at The Warrior for a long moment, before finally addressing the two pairs of eyes that were beckoning him to explain. He started with six simple words, "You're not going to like this."

The Ranger spoke quietly about his friend, who was sleeping silently. He gave very few details about what the princeling had done to himself. He only said that there was a great cloud of guilt hanging over Legolas's head. Aragon spoke about the way the prince had clung to him like a lifeline in the tree.

He then asked if the others had noticed any change in their friend. They denied anything out of the ordinary, but then again they did not know an "ordinary" Legolas. They had never met him before they became the fellowship so how were they supposed to know if he was acting strangely.

The Dunedan massaged his temples with his hand. Worry lines creased across his forehead. There was nothing they could do here in the woods. Luckily they would be at Rivendale in a few short nights. He had hoped Lord Elrond would know what to do.

Walking back to the group he told the others to speak nought a word of what transpired. The blonde's ears twitched slightly, his heart sank. For even in his sleep he sensed the familiar presence that had caused him to become this empty shell.

The Human and dwarf returned to the princling's side. The Wizard stood and spoke to Aragon. He said that he was going to ride ahead to inform Lord Elrond of the situation. That way he would be prepared for their arrival. Aragon nodded and wished him safe travels after helping Gandalf prepare for the journey he returned back to his friend with a worry filled heart.


End file.
